Excuses for being the slow rider

Every group of riders has someone who is slower than the others which can be embarrassing if it’s you …l unless you have a good excuse!

When I ride with other motorcycle journos on a press launch for a new model, I’m usually the last in because I’m slower than most others.

It should be noted that many of them are ex-racers.

So when I roll into a scheduled stop several minutes after the others, I’m usually prepared with a good excuse for being slow.

My favoured excuse is: “I stopped to take a photo of the bike at that spectacular lookout about 5km back.”

The other journos often nod as if that’s a plausible reason. But it wears thin after a while, so I’ve come up with a few others over the years.

When I ride with my mates, I’m usually one of the fastest and it’s someone else coming up with excuses for being the last to then scheduled stop.

So I’ve given and heard my fair share of good and bad excuses for being the slow rider.Group riding

You may recognise some of the excuses in this list and you are welcome to use them:

I had to make a comfort stop.

That’s a plausible excuse, especially for men who can relieve themselves just about anywhere.

I thought I was supposed to be tail-end Charlie.

Dubious excuse unless the ride has been badly organised.

I had some sort of electrical fault and the engine kept cutting out.

The trouble with this one is that the backyard mechanics in your group will try to solve the problem or even worse, they will offer to ride your bike to sort it out. You can back it up with “It seems to have come good again.” However, you now have no excuses left.

I was enjoying the scenery so much, I had to slow down and absorb it.

Only a good excuse if the scenery really is spectacular.

Did any of you guys run into that mob of (insert wildlife or livestock here)?

This is a great excuse as the other riders will then launch into anecdotes about their own misadventures with stray livestock or wildlife and forget just how lame your excuse is.

Sorry guys, I copped a speeding fine last week and I’m down to one point, so I’m taking it easy for a while.

An acceptable and oft-used excuse, but it has its time limitations and eventually you will have to pick up the pace again.

Do you have any other excuses you’d like to share? Leave your comments below.

If you eventually run out of excuses, then it’s either time to get some rider training or find another group of riders!


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